Boomers and Divorce: Will you still need me, will you still please me, when I am 64?
The Baby Boomers that have been married more than 25 years are divorcing at record rates! The population of people over 50 + years has doubled their divorce rates in the last 20 years with divorce statistics at approximately 25%, according to the recent study of the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green University. If you have been married previously, the likelihood that your second or third marriage will end in divorce is 2.5 times greater than first time marriages.
So you and your spouse have decided to divorce? Do you know the financially reality as a single person? Often, in your golden years, it is not a good picture with what has happened in recent years to the US economy. You should prepare yourself for the big picture before you make the “Divorce Leap”.
Get prepared financially: you may now be splitting the retirement funds in half. How is that going to affect your new life style? Legal fees for the divorce could be very costly depending upon disputes, length of your marriage, child custody, and the size of the estate that will need to be divided.
Be prepared for this major transaction. Setting up a new household could double expenses overnight. The National Center of Health Statistics says that it is very common for women to see a 45% post- divorce drop in their standard of living. How will you maintain your needs?
Seek Professional Help: Talk with your accountant, financial analyst, and an attorney to make smart decisions in separating assets and property. The decisions you make today may determine if you will be able to continue your lifestyle or cut back on spending to stretch the budget of your single life.
Retirement and Social Security: Couples who will have to live off retirement assets will have a lot of decisions to make on separating their funds. Many times there will be other legal documents the divorcing boomer couple will need to have to make sure all retirement and social security funds are the correct amount for each partner. You need to consider survivor benefits and special rules regarding Social Security benefits for couples older than 62 and who are married over 10 years.
Social media: You say it, you have to defend it! What you say on social networking sites can and will be used against you as evidence in a court of law. Nothing said on social networking is the best advice!
Whose pets? This is a very important issue for older couples who are empty nesters getting a divorce! Discuss this with your soon-to-be ex and come up with a settlement. A big custody battle can be expensive and the courts view pets as property. You may need the money down the road!
Health Care Insurance: This is one of the most serious problems facing the newly divorced boomer. What if one spouse is dependent on the other for health care insurance? Many couples decide, after finding out the huge cost of insurance, it may be better to stay married. Many insurance companies have very strict policies related to divorce, so make sure you know what you need to do in protecting your insurance.
Before you revert to “It’s got to be me” as a new single person, know the reality of your decision! It is not always fun to be older, wiser and much poorer!
I Am Getting Divorced : How To Avoid Major Financial Divorce Pitfalls
You are getting divorced! After the emotional decision is made you must address financial situations impacting the family breakup.
What are the major financial pitfalls of a divorce? Are you prepared to stay on top of all financial problems and decisions in this divorce to strive for a financial win-win situation?
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Where’s the liquid cash? Divorce generally never goes as fast as you would like nor do you receive as much as you think you should! If divorce is imminent start saving up money now! You will need to pay divorce expenses and have support for your new household. There will be many unanticipated costs that may drain you financially.
If you don’t have a credit card in your name get one now. If you share credit with your spouse, close out as many credit cards as possible if he/she can charge on your credit. Even if you don’t use the cards, the account balance will still be owed and both spouses may be legally responsible for the debt.
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Not Prepared for this Divorce? Divorce is a serious change of life event. Get Prepared Now! Timing is all important! When is the best time for you to get divorce? Make sure your financial situation is good before you take the divorce leap. Need new tires, buy them. Kids need dental work, see the dentist. Just remember: after the separation, your expenses will be paid by court order and not always be to your liking.
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Where are the important divorce financial records? Don’t leave without all your documents that identify what you and your spouse accumulated during your marriage and which can establish the fair market value! Even if you were not in charge of finances while you were married, you must secure copies of all records. You are entitled to your share of financial property and any additional income you find may increase the earnings that calculate child support or spousal maintenance support. What are you looking for? At least three years of tax returns, mortgage paper on your home, wills, trusts, bank, credit card, and financial statements, car registrations and titles, insurance policies, and deeds to real estate. If you have separate property from inheritance or gifts from your family, make sure you have all records of these transactions. Our blog, Texas Financial Checklist http://dld.bz/dqcej is a detailed list of items and records needed to have before filing for divorce. A very good item to use for your preparation!
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Have you overlooked any Assets? If a business is involved a forensic accountant may be hired to look of any signs of additional income or overstated expenses.
Hobbies and side businesses that use expensive equipment or generate income needs to carefully be looked out. Are you entitled to compensation for expenses you paid to get your spouse through school?
All assets, big or small can add up. These assets can always be used for trade on something you can use.
Your spouse may try to hide assets. By keeping all documents and paystubs to make sure there are not any irregularities, things usually work out fine. Stay honest and reveal your assets.
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Do Not Ignore Tax Consequences! Divorce may or may not create taxable events but you must report it on your tax return. Should you sell the house now to claim the capital gain exclusion? Who should be paying the mortgage until it sells? Should you take your spousal maintenance monthly or in a lump sum? What about retirement funds? An accountant can help to determine the best path for you on these questions.
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Passive Observer of your Divorce? NO! Get control of this process, focus on practical things and work with your future Ex to get this divorce over! You can do this! There is a reason for this divorce and you are the master/mistress of your destiny. Your children need you now to be a responsible parent and wise decision making will save you time and legal fees. Listen to your attorney but you make the decisions!
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Is Divorce your survival plan? Now that you have decided to divorce you must break it to your children. People engaged in a Divorce should be in survival mode. The person who will be your future “EX” is looking out for themselves and you need to look out for yourself and your children. YOU must insist within reason on getting what you need and deserve! Emotions and money do not mix! You must be able to take care of yourself and your family financially so look at all property division decisions very carefully and make good decisions to bring the divorce to a successful conclusion.
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Prepare for the worst! When entering into a divorce, prepare yourself for the worst! If you are prepared for anything, than your fears will not cause you to panic and you will keep control of your situation. Outside of death, divorce is considered one of the worst emotional situations that a human being will ever experience!
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How will you support yourself and the kids after divorce? Hopefully this is not a problem, but now would be a good time to get some career counseling at a community college, university or local job center. Having a fulfilling career is lucrative and helps your self-esteem!
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Get Good Advice! Decisions you make now will affect the rest of your life. Find a good, knowledgeable attorney to help you though the rough spots. If you are emotionally a wreck, find a good therapist. If you feel there are hidden assets, hire a forensic accountant. Now is the time to get the best advice you can afford! You will have to live with your financial decisions for a long time.
I Am Getting Divorced : What Are Some Main Financial Concerns
So you have now decided to divorce. You know it will be painful & scary, but you believe the time is right to have a single life. Financial vulnerability and risks are inevitable.
Every year, approximately three million men and women head down the emotional and financial path of divorce. Following a divorce the cost is usually 25-50% more to maintain your pre-divorce lifestyle. A single household becomes twice as expensive as each spouse losses the benefit of the other spouses income. Economic discrimination due to gender gaps place additional financial burdens on women. A woman’s standard of living may drop 27% while a man’s standard of living may increase 10%!
Now start with the financial basics in surviving your divorce! What are the basics?
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A secure place to live
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Create little or no debt
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Protect retirement assets or income
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Use of liquid money or assets
The most important of these basics is Liquid money! You will need money to find a place to live and hire an attorney. You will also need money to pay your expenses during your divorce. Liquidity will definitely come in handy and enhance your position in the proceedings.
What about Debts? If possible pay off your debts now. The uses of savings or assets you can liquidate are the cleanest methods. Many divorced people find themselves responsible for their EX’s portion of debt since the exiting spouse refuses to pay. Legally, you may be responsible if your ex-spouse does not pay. Try to start your new life free of debt and with a new sense of self confidence!
What about Cash Issues and Retirement Assets in a divorce? If you and your spouse have retirement savings, each of you will probably be entitled to a one-half share or a portion based on a fixed ration of the number of years married and number of years of investing. This money could be kept for retirement or used to repay other current expenses or debts. Make sure you examine prospective tax treatment to avoid the 10% penalty on early withdrawal by the IRS.
Some tax questions to know about:
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Are spousal maintenance payments tax deductible?
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Who will be able to claim Head of Household status?
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Who gets the tax emption for the kids?
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Is child support non-deductible?
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Which Attorney fees are tax deductible?
Always remember to “Look at the big picture”. Keep your focus on finances and parenting. If you need help from smart professions, as your attorney, accountant, or mental-health professional, get it now! They will help you and your family with focus, objectivity and a long-term vision that is very difficult for you during this tumultuous time in your life. Now you need to be able to articulate you needs and goals for the future.
Do not forget! This time too shall pass and you may be, with planning, better than ever in the future!
Boomers And Family Relationships: Going on 60+ Years Young!
This year the Baby Boomer Generation is turning 65 and is redefining: “What is Old” as “We are the Upper Middle Age and Damn Proud of it! ” This proud group of 50’s and 60’s born babies have never stood still in the past and are not about to start doing so now!
Baby Boomers have always been an age group phenomenon associated with rejection of and redefinition of society‘s traditional values. Since most boomers in the United States grew up in a time of financial growth and affluence, they are considered the healthiest and wealthiest generation yet with control of over 80% of all personal financial assets and over 50% of all discretionary spending dollars. As Boomers grow older they expect the world to improve for the better and will seek changes in society’s traditional values to meet demand for change as they did in their youth.
One coming change will involve family relationships in the context of marriage, divorce, and cohabitation. Boomers have always been known as the “Individual Freedom” generation. Boomers have redefined old age today as not beginning until age 72+ (2009 Pew Survey). Boomers are 70% more likely to believe that the main purpose of marriage is mutual happiness and fulfillment rather than primarily child rearing, and are ironically less accepting of same-sex couples raising children, unmarried couples living together, and other non- traditional arrangements (2010 Pew Survey).
With longer life spans and growing acceptability of divorce, the Boomer divorce rate has tripled over their parent’s generation. Sixty-Six percent say divorce is preferable to an unhappy marriage (2010 Pew Survey) and an AARP study of boomers found that two-thirds (2/3) of divorces were initiated by the woman to the surprise of her male partner. A study by the Office of National Statistics indicates the US divorce rate has dropped, except in the 60+ age group. Times are “still a changing”, and yet the 2010 Decline of Marriage Pew Survey indicates 76% of all Baby Boomers today feel their family is “the most important element of their lives!”
Texas Child Abuse and Family Violence
The Texas Family Code defines Family Violence as an act by a member of the family or household against another member that is intended to result in physical harm, bodily injury, assault, or a threat on a family member in danger of imminent physical harm. This abuse is defined as physical injury that results in substantial harm or genuine threat of sexual, intercourse or conduct; or encouraging the child to engage in sexual conduct.
What does “family” include? Individuals related by blood or affinity, marriage or former marriage, biological parents of the same child, foster children, and members or former members of the same household (including roommates).
What about child abuse?
Some very interesting statistics:
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A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds
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More than four children die every day as a result of child abuse
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70% of children that die from abuse are under age of 4
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Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level within all ethnic and cultural lines and all religions and all levels of education!
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Approximately 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children
Statistics re: childhelp.org
In Texas (2008 Crime in Texas.com), victims are primarily female (75%) and the offenders are primarily male (77%). The primarily weapon involved in family violence is physical force with the use of hands, feet or fists (78%).
How can you know if child abuse exists in a household?
Look for these most common child abuse indicators in children:
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Injuries that are unexplained
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Major and sudden changes in a child’s behavior
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Return to earlier behavior: such as bed wetting, thumb sucking, and fear of dark or strangers or more serious language or memory problems
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Serious fear of going home
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Changes in eating or sleeping habits
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Changes in school performance or attendance
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Lack of personal care or hygiene
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New risk taking behaviors
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Inappropriate sexual behavior
If you are a family member, friend, teacher, or child-care giver of a child who has started displaying very different behaviors or showing injuries, it is imperative that you contact someone who can either help this child or prevent any more family violence from occurring in this child’s family. This child and family need help now!
NACOL LAW FIRM P.C.
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Dallas, Texas 75231
972-690-3333
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Attorney Mark A. Nacol is board certified in Civil Trial Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization
