Baby Boomers and Divorce
With high profilers, Al and Tipper Gore announcing they are separating after 40 years of marriage, many Baby Boomers (USA born between 1946-1964) may be wondering who is left in the ”Happily Ever After” group!
Today’s Baby Boomers are more educated than any previous American Generation and their divorce rate is triple that of their parent’s generation. Break ups among long term married couples are becoming more frequent with longer life spans and the growing regrettable acceptability of divorce. In 2008, ¼ of all divorces reported were marriages of over 20 years with divorces of couples 55 or older rising moderately. A longer life span means the possibility of a new relationship, and opportunities for repartnering after age 55 are greater than they used to be.
The top three reasons for long term marriage dissolutions are Abuse, Infidelity, and Money Control Issues. Another rising issue is couples who have been married for decades. Baby Boomers start taking their marriages for granted and are focusing on different issues until it is too late to seek a reconnect with their estranged spouses. These break ups are referred as “Cold Divorces” characterized by isolation, distance and disengagement and are usually a product of a gradual buildup. Empty Nester divorces are also on the rise, since the spouses no longer have their children to hold the marriage together. An AARP survey of older divorced couples found that two-thirds (2/3) of the divorces were initiated by the woman, frequently to the surprise of the man.
A recent poll was conducted by the National Association of Divorce for Women & Children and the Baby Boomer on divorce. The results were really startling! 41% of all participants said that dealing with finances, debt and security were the most challenging parts of finalizing a divorce. Asset division was second at 19%, and Custody of the Children was third at 13%.
Depicting divorce as an unsettling emotional roller coaster ride, 41% of the participants reported coping skills would have been helpful to cope with the divorce process, 28% reported Stress Management, and failure of Communication Skills was a close third at 26%.
Finally, 55% of the participants reported having an amicable relationship with their former spouse. 15% could not be in the same room with their former spouse and only 4% reported they had learned to tolerate the other for the sake of their children! Many expressed sadness, shame and embarrassment for having to divorce.
Some warning signs to look out for in a Boomer Divorce are:
- Spouses who argue at least once a week about money are 30% more likely to get divorced
- If your parents are divorced, you are 40% more likely to get divorced
- If both of you have been previously divorced, you are 90% more likely to seek divorce than those of a first marriage.
The US Census estimates about half of all marriages end in divorce! As you grow older people change, but to preserve a marriage, the spouses need to continue working on their Marriage to Keep it Intact!
The Baby Boomers : Gray Divorce Trend Setters
Recently a very important research paper was released by Bowling Green State University sociologists Susan L. Brown and I-Fen Lin, concerning Divorce after Age 50. With the United States having the highest divorce rate in the world (40-45%), divorce and older adults have not been frequent subjects of research. Since the “boomers” generation came of age, the pampered children of a very strong postwar economy have rebelled against the restrictive conventions of their parents and have pushed the limits of their parents’ institutions and traditions.
The Baby Boomers generation has displayed significant marital discord. After 1979 the young baby boomers were responsible for the extraordinary rise in marital instability in the United States. Although the U. S. divorce rates are starting to head downward, the divorce rates for Boomers have doubled since 1990. 1 in 4 couples who are divorcing today are 50 years and older!
A Pew Research study on social trends found that “when it comes to divorce, baby boomers are less conservative than younger generations. 66% of baby boomers say divorce is preferable to staying in an unhappy marriage as compared to 54% of younger adults.
What are some of the major reasons for the large increase in Boomer divorce?
1. Boomers have the economic livelihood and feasibility to address divorce and this rate will continue to rise. It is projected that by 2030, there will be a 25% increase in boomer divorces! About ½ of these Boomer divorces will come from short-term remarriages.
2. As the “Boomer” children leave the “nest”, many older adults realize that their spouse no longer meet each other’s needs in the next life stage. “If Marriage isn’t making me happy, divorce is now an acceptable solution”.
3. When a lack of communication exists between a couple, infidelities contributes to a breakdown and expedites marriage failure.
4. Another big factor is increasing economic independence of women. Many women now do not have to choose between a bad marriage and poverty. They have the means to care for themselves and want happiness and companionship not provided in a loveless or inadequate marriage.
A divorce always results in both an emotional and financial ending. Boomers have shown that, in this era of individualism and lengthening life expectancies, these individuals want to release themselves from unhappiness and uncertainty. Sad but true, more baby boomers will break their marriage bonds and head out to unknown adventures!
Texas Divorce : Who is Responsible for Student Loans in a Divorce
The State of Texas is a “Community Property State.” What this means is that most debts incurred by either spouse during a marriage will be owed by the couple or community. The shared community debt is only applied to debts incurred during the marriage. If one of the spouses incurs a student loan before marriage, such person will have total responsibility for the debt. An exception to this rule would be where a spouse signs onto an account as a joint account holder after a marriage or refinances jointly during marriage.
If a couple is living together, but are not married, the person carrying the student loans will be solely responsible for his/her debt.
How can couples avoid Student Loans Debt Problems?
In Community Property States (Texas, Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Washington & Wisconsin) couples can sign a Pre or Post Nuptial Agreement to have their debts and income treated separately. A very good time to do this would be if one spouse is going back to school or pursuing higher education, or is starting a new business.
Before marriage, have a discussion with your future spouse on the extent of his/her debts and your financial situation. Nothing will sour a loving relationship more than unexpected understood debt.
Boomer Divorce : Main Reasons for Boomer Divorces
As the overall divorce rate for the US population has fallen since 1990, the increase in the divorce rate for people “of a certain age” has doubled. “The Gray Divorce Revolution”, a study by sociologists Susan Brown and I-Fen Lin, states that in the past 20 years, the divorce rate for people 50+ has increased two-fold. The study also found the divorce rate for boomers in their second or third marriages were 2.5 times higher than first marriages. Many attribute this to baby boomers being the first generation to come of age in the time of high premarital cohabitation, and divorce rates in the 1970 and 80’s.
Has there been a change in the Baby Boomer’s idea of what constitutes a good marriage? Are people “of a certain age” looking at retirement and realizing that they could live another +25 years! Many of the ideas for staying in a bad or lukewarm marriage are changing when baby boomers now are looking at a potential “second life” after retirement. Seeking a second chance for self-fulfillment and individual happiness, will Baby Boomers change the concept of marriage as they did in their youth?
What are some of the main reasons for “Gray Divorces” ?
Family Changes – As their children grow up and leave “the nest” and their elderly parents and other relatives grow old and demand special care, baby boomers are many times pulled apart by these family demands realizing they have nothing in common with their spouse and consequently move on with life.
Retirement – When the “ baby boomer “ couple finally reach retirement or reduced working conditions, many changes occur in their life style together. Being together all the time is a lot different than spending evenings and weekends together! Many couples have very different attitudes on how they want to spend “the rest of their lives” and find they have very little in common with their spouse and have already taken “different paths in their lives”. With “a second life” ahead is it better to go it alone?
Love Has Flown the Coop? Are you still attracted to your spouse? Many people experience a 50+ life crisis when they feel they need to experience life to the fullest since time may be running out! Their spouse may not have the same needs and wonder who this person is that they have been married to “for sooo long”!
Now you have made the decision to divorce. There will be mind altering changes in your life and life style. “A Gray Divorce” is a very sobering experience for older Americans. Your financial situation will definitely change and usually not for the best. Think about what will be your best choice for your “Second Life” and how you will find happiness!
Taxes 2013 : Who Is Entitled To Use The Tax Exemption on Children After a Divorce
As we now approach the deadline for filing our 2013 federal income tax return, many divorced parents are asking this question, “Which parent may legally claim their children on their tax return”? This question has become complicated with the rise in fathers’ rights, expansion in non-custodial parents visitation periods, and advance parenting schedules allowing children to spend quality if not equal time with both parents throughout the year.
In the past the Internal Revenue Code provided that the custodial parent was allowed to claim the minor children on his/her federal income tax return. Mom was usually the custodial parent and Dad usually had the children every other weekend.
The Internal Revenue Code states that the parent with whom the child lived with for the greater number of nights during the year is entitled to claim the dependency exemption.
If during or following a divorce in final judgment, the two divorcing parents agree that one parent shall claim the child as a dependent in odd numbered years and the other parent in even numbered years, or if the divorcing parents have more than one child, one parent shall claim some children, while the other parent shall claim the other children, this agreement in your final divorce decree will be honored by the IRS.
If your divorce was final before 2008, just attach the final divorce decree to your tax return. If your divorce was final after 2008, your ex-spouse must fill out IRS form 8332 which provides the name of your children that you can claim on your federal income tax return.
I you are divorced in 2013 and have questions please contact your tax adviser or go to the website http://www.irs.gov/Forms-&-Pubs for more information.
NACOL LAW FIRM P.C.
8144 Walnut Hill Lane
Suite 1190
Dallas, Texas 75231
972-690-3333
Office Hours
Monday – Thursday, 8am – 5pm
Friday, 8:30am – 5pm
OUR BLOGS
SEARCH
JOIN OUR NETWORK
Attorney Mark A. Nacol is board certified in Civil Trial Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization