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The Nacol Law Firm PC
The Nacol Law Firm PC

Posts Tagged ‘child custody’

Supervised Visitation in Texas – Part 1

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Former spouses often use informal visitation arrangements as an opportunity to assault, harass, stalk, and emotional abuse their children and former partners.  In addition, some parents will use their children as a means to hurt the other parent by denying access to the child(ren) even though such access has been ordered by the court, i.e. failing to be at home during scheduled visitation periods, failing to bring the child(ren) to a scheduled location for the other parent to exercise their court ordered visitation, faking illness, etc.

Supervised visitation takes place between the non-custodial parent and his or her child(ren) in the presence of a third party who observes the visit to ensure the child’s physical and emotional safety.  Though sometimes reasonably and successfully ordered, visits voluntarily supervised by friends and family in their homes can be fraught with danger for the child and parent, as well as the monitor, especially in cases of domestic violence.  Family members may trust the parent whose visits are being supervised and therefore may not take proper or sufficient measures to assure the child(ren) are watched or monitored at all times during the visit. 

Consequently, when supervision is indicated, possession/visitation supervised by a neutral third party with the capacity to enforce effective safety measures is normally ordered and enforced by the courts.  The expenses of such supervision are often excessive and may in themselves create a detriment to possession by a parent.  Such agencies may also provide reports and recommendations to the court based on the success or failure of the supervised visits.  Such recommendations assist the courts in making informed decisions regarding supervision and whether continued supervision in the best interest of the child(ren).

If supervised visitation is requested, some type of compelling reason and evidence, based on the circumstances surrounding the child(ren) must normally be established.  Such evidence may include denial of access, drug addiction, mental or physical abuse, neglect, or severe mental illness of a parent.  The following is a potential list of acts and/or circumstances that may be considered contrary to a child’s best interest.

• Violence or physical endangerment – A noncustodial parent may be denied visitation rights if the parent has abused the child or threatened physical violence.
• Emotional harm – Where sufficient proof is offered of potential emotional harm or that standard visitation has detrimentally affected a child’s welfare, supervised visitation may be ordered.
• Child’s wishes – A court may consider the child’s wishes as to visitation.  The weight given to a child’s preference is dependent on the child’s age, emotional stability, maturity and motives.
• Abduction – There must be a showing that there is a strong imminent probability of abduction to limit visitation on this basis.
• Substance abuse – A parent who abuses drugs or alcohol may be ordered to supervised visitation restrictions if the conduct endangers the child or if the parent uses abusive language and/or mistreats the child.
• Mental illness –Mental incapacity may be a reason for supervised visitation only if it is determined by the court that there is a reasonable potential for harm to the child due to such mental illness.
• Sexual behavior – Courts rarely deny visitation solely on the basis of a non-marital heterosexual relationship.  Courts will, however, cancel overnight visitation by a child with a parent because of the parent’s cohabitation on a showing of an adverse and material negative impact on the child.
• Incarceration – Visitations due to incarceration may be suspended only on a showing that such visits are detrimental to the child.

To have more of your questions answered on supervised visitation in Texas, or for answers to any other Texas child custody concerns you may have, call  Dallas Divorce attorney Mark Nacol of the Nacol Law Firm P.C.

Mental Illness and the Child Custody Case

Wednesday, November 25th, 2009

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, an estimated 26.2 percent of Americans age 18 and older – about one in four adults – suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year. This figure translates to 57.7 million people. Many people suffer from more than one mental disorder at a given time. Nearly half (45 percent) of those with mental disorder meet criteria for two or more disorders, with severity strongly related to co-morbidity. Mental illnesses are biologically based brain disorders. A diagnosed mental illness in a custody case may not only affect the eventual outcome of the case, but may also determine how counsel prepares his or her particular case strategy.

There are degrees of severity and levels of functioning with all mental disorders, and in the context of a contested custody case an extreme position can be easier for an attorney to handle. The fact finder is evaluating each parent’s ability to meet the child’s needs and the parties’ particular parenting abilities. A psychiatric diagnosis is not in and of itself a measuring tool. The specific acts of each parent must be examined in detail.

One important factor to consider is a request for psychological testing or the appointment of a counselor or psychiatrist to evaluate the parties. If the party with the mental illness has not admitted they have an illness, the results of court-ordered evaluations may force the issue and may also provide additional evidence to support a modification of temporary orders.

Counsel may want to recommend to the court that the child attend therapy. You may suggest the use of the therapist, psychiatrist, or psychologist of the person with the mental disorder for recommendations to the court of the parent’s visitation with the child.

Counsel may also want to consider a temporary injunction in addition to the standard temporary injunction for the preservation of property and protection of the parties and the children. Some issues to consider are preventing the use of alcohol within 24 hours of possession of the children; preventing the mentally ill party from operating a motor vehicle while taking medications, and preventing the parties from making disparaging remarks regarding the other party.

It is important that counsel identify and define the particular drugs the mentally ill patient is taking. Counsel should request a HIPPA Release (specifically related to mental health disclosures) allowing access to medical and prescription drug records of the mentally ill party. Research should then be performed as to the effects of each drug on the mentally ill person.

It may be necessary to have an Amicus Attorney appointed to represent the interests of the children. The Amicus Attorney has a powerful role in the contested custody case and can assist in gaining information on the mentally ill party. All parties should cooperate fully with the Amicus Attorney for the best interest of the children. It is important to make yourself available to the Amicus Attorney and to be pro-active in setting up appointments. It is important that counsel instruct you as to what to say and what not to say to the Amicus Attorney. It is also critical that counsel respond to any discovery propounded by an Amicus Attorney timely.

Be sure to educate yourself about the particular mental disorder you are dealing with. Make sure your experts have experience in handling the particular mental disorder in questions. Counsel should use the testimony of experts to offer aid and/or educate the judge and/or jury so they have a clear understanding of the mental illness and its foreseeable consequences to the spouse and/or family members.

Child Custody: Staying Close to Your Kids

Friday, August 21st, 2009

When a custody lawsuit commences, parents need to be thinking primarily about what is in the best interest of the child(ren). The needs and rights of the child(ren) are of paramount importance in a child custody case and the court’s primary focus.

In accordance with Section 153.002 of the Texas Family Code, parents are ordinarily considered to be equal in their right to parent their child(ren). It is the best interests of the child(ren) that are paramount, and the aim of the Texas Family Code is to:

1. Assure that child(ren) will have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of the child(ren);
2. Provide a safe, stable, and non-violent environment for the child(ren); and
3. Encourage parents to share in the rights and duties of raising their child(ren) after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage. If you are a parent who is preparing for a custody battle, you would do well to make this your primary goal throughout the litigation.

Vengeful parents often engage in destructive conduct by trying to move out of state in an attempt to separate the child(ren) geographically from the non-custodial parent. If vengeance is the custodial parent’s primary motive, this has many benefits: it becomes more difficult for the non-custodial parent to exercise visitation, and at the same time makes it more difficult (and expensive) for the non-custodial parent to seek relief through the courts for denied visitation or other wrongful acts by the custodial parent. A move-away, depending upon distance, can also isolate the child(ren) from the non-custodial parent. If you suspect your spouse may do this, you need to be prepared and act proactively. A key item to have incorporated into final paperwork is an “anti-move-away” clause. Essentially, this states that if the custodial parent moves more than a certain number of miles away, custody changes to the remaining parent and/or restricting the permanent domicile of the child(ren) to designated counties.

Stay meaningfully involved in your child(ren)’s lives on a regular and continuing basis. Being heavily involved with your child(ren) for very short periods of time will not bring favor in the eyes of the court.
Keep a detailed record or diary of the details of how much you have been involved with your child(ren)’s school and extracurricular activities. Attend school meetings. Take pictures. Schedule family vacations. Visit relatives and friends and schedule sleepovers with your child(ren)’s peers. Take your child(ren) to the dentist and the doctor. Don’t spoil your child(ren), reasonably discipline your child(ren) when necessary and document why you took such action. Take advantage of extra time extended you by your spouse and try to extend visitation when possible if only for a couple of hours. Initiate and support birthdays, school activities, and college requirements. Document all relevant case issues and facts.

Keep in mind that your child(ren) are not equipped to deal with the range of emotions experienced by an adult, and that ventilating your personal difficulties on them is not only unhelpful, but can be a form of abuse and can create lasting emotional scars and is viewed with disfavor in the courthouse.

Parents preparing for custody cases before the court in Texas must be mindful of the extraordinary damage they can do when denigrating the other spouse in front of their child(ren). Such behavior is not only damaging to the child(ren), but may and usually will, be taken into consideration by the court. A noticeable failure to maintain self-control may be considered an indicator of an inability to parent.

If you can remain involved in your child(ren)’s lives enough to find out how his or her relationship is with your former spouse, you may be able to build a better case to show the court you are the better custodial parent, and in the meantime productively provide for your child(ren) in his or her best interest.

Torn Apart: Children and Divorce

Monday, June 8th, 2009

Despite the difficulties faced in a divorce, the children should not be placed in the center of the crossfire.  During the divorce process, and sometimes following the divorce process, it is not uncommon for a parent to become so wrapped up in anger, vengeance or simply being “right” that they forget the effect the whole process is having on the children.  Below are some behaviors to avoid and some suggestions to assist you with improving your communications during the divorce process:

 

1.             Do not use children as messengers between “mom” and “dad.”

 

2.             Do not criticize your former spouse in the presence of your children because children realize they are part “mom” and part “dad.”

 

3.             Resist any temptation to allow your children to act as your caretaker.  Children need to be allowed the freedom to be “children.”  Taking on such responsibility at an early age degrades their self-esteem, feeds anger and hinders a child’s ability to relate to their peers.

 

4.             Encourage your children to see your former spouse frequently.  Promote a good relationship for the benefit of the child.

 

5.             Do not argue with your former spouse in the presence of the children.  No matter what the situation, the child will feel torn between taking “mommy’s” side and “daddy’s” side.

 

6.             At every step during the divorce process, remind yourself that your children’s interests are paramount, even over your own. 

 

7.             If you are the non-primary parent, pay your child support.

 

8.             If you are the primary parent and are not receiving child support, do not tell your children.  This feeds a child’s sense of abandonment and erodes their stability.

 

9.             Remember that the Court’s view child support and child custody as two separate and distinct issues.  Children do not understand whether “mommy” and/or “daddy” paid child support, but they do understand that “mommy” and/or “daddy” wants to see me.

 

10.          If at all possible, do not uproot your children.  When a family is falling apart, a child needs a stable home and school life to buffer the trauma.

 

11.          If you have an addiction problem, whether it be drugs, alcohol or any other affliction, seek help immediately.  Such impairments inhibit your ability to reassure your children and give them the attention they need.

 

12.          If you are having difficulty dealing with issues relating to your former spouse, discuss such issues with mental health professionals and counselors.

 

13.          Reassure your children that they are loved and that they have no fault in the divorce.

 

Though these steps are not all-inclusive, they will assist you in dealing with the complex issues of a divorce and hopefully minimize the impact of the divorce process on the children.

Step-parent Conflict: Put the Kids First

Monday, May 25th, 2009

Thirty seven percent of families in the United States are blended families.  Sixty percent of second marriages end in divorce.  A biological parent has his hands full, but as most step-parents will tell you, their job is even more complicated. 

 

Following a divorce, it is not uncommon for a new step-parent to become the target of unprovoked spite or anger.  In many cases, the previous-spouse harbors unfounded fears that their child will look to a new step-parent as a mother or father replacement figure.  This can engender resentment to what may already be an uncomfortable situation between parties.  Regretfully, these issues often escalate very quickly.  Such resentments place the children squarely in the middle of a bitter fight between the people they love the most and are not healthy for anyone involved.  The pain of conflicting loyalties to each parent and a child’s feeling of being “caught in the middle” of such disputes exacts an enormous emotional toll on a child.  When a parent is in a rage, it is not uncommon for a child to withdraw.  The child’s behavior towards the non-primary parent may abruptly change.  This change in behavior may have more to do with keeping the primary parent happy than it does with how they really feel about the non-primary parent or step-parent.  It is essential that you make it clear to your child that you love them and will always be there for them, regardless of the emotional or less than rosy current circumstances. 

 

It is crucial to a child’s self-esteem and emotional growth that parents avoid putting children in the middle of such disputes.  This can be incredibly difficult, however, when a selfish or manipulative parent does not think twice about wrongfully placing his or her child in the middle of conflict.  Children are very perceptive and as they grow older they will ultimately realize when a parent has lied to them and used them for their own emotional or financial gain.  Though they may temporarily identify with the aggressors, in time they will deeply resent the parent who has manipulated them.

 

Regardless of the circumstances, it is critical that biological parents avoid arguments or conflicts in the presence of the children.  Such conduct is conducive to parental alienation goals of the misguided previous spouse.  If the child sees that you maintain a calm and collected demeanor, it gives them reason to pause and feel safe. 

 

If a previous spouse is making statements to the child regarding issues that should only be discussed between adults, tell the child that such discussions are inappropriate and you will take them up with the other parent at another time. 

 

It is ok to tell your child “I am sorry,” if they are upset, even if you are not the parent upsetting them.  This validates that they are hurting and relieves any false guilt they may have over things that are being said and done when you are not present.  It is sometimes helpful to use everyday situations to explain conflict to your child.  As an example, when dealing with conflict explain that “brothers and sisters fight, but they still love each other.  Families have to work through conflict in order to stay together.  I would not leave you if you made a mistake, I would not want you to leave me.”  Such statements reinforces that reasonable conflict is ok and assures the child that you will remain a constant force in their life regardless of the situation.

 

If you feel that the conflict has escalated to a point of becoming emotionally abusive and/or destructive to the child, consult an attorney.  It may be in the best interest of the child that he or she be removed from the primary parent and placed with the non-primary parent so that he or she is allowed to love all parental figures, parents and step-parents alike, unconditionally.