Ho! Ho! Ho! Texas Childrens Visitation Schedules and the Holidays

November 17th, 2011

The Holiday season is now upon us and hopefully all parents have worked out the upcoming visitation schedules for the 2011 Holiday Season. But if not….. Here is a reminder of the current Texas Family Law Code’s Standard Possession Order for Holidays.

§ 153.314. Holiday Possession Unaffected by Distance Parents Reside Apart.
The following provisions govern possession of the child for certain specific holidays and supersede conflicting weekend or Thursday periods of possession without regard to the distance the parents reside apart. The possessory conservator and the managing conservator shall have rights of possession of the child as follows:

Christmas Break:
(1) the possessory conservator shall have possession of the child in even-numbered years beginning at 6 p.m. on the day the child is dismissed from school for the Christmas school vacation and ending at noon on December 28, and the managing conservator shall have possession for the same period in odd-numbered years;
(2) the possessory conservator shall have possession of the child in odd-numbered years beginning at noon on December 28 and ending at 6 p.m. on the day before school resumes after that vacation, and the managing conservator shall have possession for the same period in even-numbered years;

Thanksgiving:
(3) the possessory conservator shall have possession of the child in odd-numbered years, beginning at 6 p.m. on the day the child is dismissed from school before Thanksgiving and ending at 6 p.m. on the following Sunday, and the managing conservator shall have possession for the same period in even-numbered years;

Child’s Birthday:
(4) the parent not otherwise entitled under this standard order to present possession of a child on the child’s birthday shall have possession of the child beginning at 6 p.m. and ending at 8 p.m. on that day, provided that the parent picks up the child from the residence of the conservator entitled to possession and returns the child to that same place;

Father’s Day:
(5) if a conservator, the father shall have possession of the child beginning at 6 p.m. on the Friday preceding Father’s Day and ending on Father’s Day at 6 p.m., provided that, if he is not otherwise entitled under this standard order to present possession of the child, he picks up the child from the residence of the conservator entitled to possession and returns the child to that same place;

Mother’s Day:
(6) if a conservator, the mother shall have possession of the child beginning at 6 p.m. on the Friday preceding Mother’s Day and ending on Mother’s Day at 6 p.m., provided that, if she is not otherwise entitled under this standard order to present possession of the child, she picks up the child from the residence of the conservator entitled to possession and returns the child to that same place.

Child visitation orders may differ from the norm to accommodate family situations so you should always check your decree first! If in doubt about your holiday visitation time’s contact someone who can help you to make sure nothing happens to affect this special season with your children. ‘Tis the Season!

Hey Baby Boomers: What Happened to Til Death Do Us Part?

November 13th, 2011

How often do we hear those infamous words from a long time married family or friends! “We are getting divorced!” Baby Boomers always the trendsetters are now seriously hitting the Divorce trail in growing numbers. The National Center of Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University notes that the divorce rate for people over 50 has doubled in the last 20 years and feel this is an upward trend, despite the fact that overall divorce rates have declined. In fact baby boomers now account for roughly one in four divorces today in the United States.

Why are Baby Boomers now deciding to forgo “Married Life” for unknown futures? According to a 2009 Pew Research survey, when it comes to divorce Baby Boomers are less conservative than younger generations: 66% say divorce is preferable to staying in an unhappy marriage compared with 44% of younger adults.

With many boomers the kids have often left home and these “Empty Nesters “want a material change in their lives. This group also has a net worth 47 times that of young adults so money is not necessarily a significant impediment. Communication issues are frequently mentioned in a boomer divorce and many times infidelity is the catalyst leading to a final breakdown of the marriage, creating a reason to move on to a new relationship?

Baby Boomers usually have the economic feasibility to make a divorce a reachable solution. Recently job losses and strained finances have become a major problem in some boomer marriages causing extreme stress leading to a divorce. The older Baby Boomers will impact the divorce rate which will then continue a peak and then fall sharply.

In any divorce there are always two divorces, the legal and emotional divorce, in boomer divorces financial considerations are pronounced. Aside from the loss of a spouse, a child or a parent to death, it has been said that Divorce is the most egregious, emotionally debilitating experience a man or woman may have in a lifetime. The grief to each spouse is very real, personal, and frequently irrevocable in causing emotional and financial scarring.

Concurrent with the emotional roller-coaster, a boomer couple has to determine where long term assets will end up and almost emotionally detach themselves from these assets and accept the reality of a lowered standard of living. Many boomers realize they may never marry again and there financial situation will dictate their final retirement package and needs. Often men feel they have worked a lifetime and are losing everything and many women cannot imagine life without their current assets.

Could this be why children and grandchildren of baby boomers are waiting to marry? Since 1979 the average age of Grooms has risen from 24 to 28 and from 22 to 26 for Brides. Nobody wants to inherit what turned out to be a perceived troubling trait of an older generation and many children of divorce look like they are trying to change the trend for the better.

The Innocent Bystander

October 14th, 2011

Divorce, in many cases, has a life-altering impact on a child’s development and well-being. Given that one out of every two marriages ends in divorce, thousands of children are impacted each year. Divorce places enormous stress on a child trying to adjust to new feelings and rapidly changing situations in their lives. The resulting instability often leads to resentment towards the child’s parents and a difficulty acclimating to all the abrupt and immediate changes in a child’s life.

Children perceive divorce as a very traumatic event and are very concerned about their security. Many children internalize the dissolution and blame themselves for the breakup. They are scared that both parents may leave them.

Some very disturbing research on children and divorce has just been released by the Census Bureau Study, “The Marital Events of Americans: 2009”.

*1.5% of US children live in the home of a parent who divorced in the last year. The average age of the child is 9.8 yrs. old and the male/female ration is 1:1.

*64% of the children were White, non- Hispanic children, with the largest percentage living in the South (41%).

*Children living with a divorced parent are likely to be in a household below the poverty level (28%) and more likely to be living in a rented home (53%).

*Most children live in a mother headed households (73%). Because mothers have lower earning potential in the labor force, the family often lives below the poverty level.

*These children of divorce are often living with their parents’ unmarried partner (13%). Only 5% of the children are living in a household with a married couple.

Children of divorce often suffer from anxiety, depression and reduced self-esteem issues. Robert Hughes, associate professor in the Dept. of Human Development and Family Science, Ohio State University, found that children from divorce are more aggressive and more likely to get in to trouble with school authorities or police during adolescence. Also children from divorce are more vulnerable to becoming a victim of violence or become a perpetrator of violent acts on themselves and or others.

If you are considering divorce, carefully consider the impact on your children. To help children through this difficult time, parents must realize and accept that they are responsible for this situation and that their children often suffer as a result of the parent’s decision.

Parents should be very sensitive to the child’s emotional needs to ensure the best possible adjustment of his or her mental, physical, spiritual well-being towards a healthy, responsible adult. Remember! Your child is the “Innocent Bystander.”

Seek professional help if you child is struggling with the changes in his or her life. Your attorney knows a resource that may be available to address your child’s pressing needs.

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