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The Nacol Law Firm PC
The Nacol Law Firm PC

Posts Tagged ‘dallas divorce’

Women at Risk: The Hazards of a Bad Relationship

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

Abusive men, and women (physical or mental), are all about control and frequently evolve from abusive homes themselves. Police desire to help abused women, but often even after a complaint has been filed, women will not pursue the charges out of fear. Feeling helpless, they are often terrified, brain-washed and really believe that they have nowhere to go. It is not uncommon for an abuser to be very charismatic and after beating his victim return home the following day with flowers showing great affection to his victim. Unfortunately, the victim tends to believe the transparent words “I’ll never do it again!”

One of the most frustrating things for family and friends outside a battering relationship is trying to understand why the abused person doesn’t just leave. It is important to remember that extreme emotional abuse is always present in domestic violence situations. Violence takes place in many forms, is unpredictable and can happen all of the time or just once in a while. Violence is criminal including physical and sexual assault. It is paramount to remember that physical violence, even among family members, is wrong and against the law.

Some of the reasons partners stay in domestic violence situations are:

1. Economic dependence.
2. Fear of greater physical danger or danger for children.
3. Fear of being hunted down and suffering worse beatings.
4. Survival. Fear that the abuser will kill.
5. Fear of emotional damage to children.
6. Fear of losing custody of children.
7. Lack of alternative housing.
8. Lack of job skills.
9. Social isolation resulting in lack of support from family and friends.
10. Social isolation resulting in lack of information about her alternatives and support systems.
11. Lack of understanding from family and friends, police, ministers.
12. Negative response from community, police, courts, social workers.
13. Fear of involvement in the court process.
14. Fear of the unknown, chronic anxiety, and/or depression.
15. Acceptable violence. Living with constant abuse numbs the victim so that they are unable to recognize that they are involved in a set pattern.
16. Ties to the community. The children would have to leave their school, and family would have to leave friends and neighbors.
17. Ties to home and belongings.
18. Family pressure.
19. Denial.
20. Loyalty.
21. Love. Often an abuser is quite loveable and loyal when he is not being abusive.
22. Shame and humiliation. “I don’t want anyone else to know.”
23. Guilt. They believe the abuse is caused by some inadequacy of their own.
24. Demolished self-esteem.
25. Lack of emotional support.

The following is a bill of rights for women in abusive relationships:

1. I have the right to ask for what I want.
2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can’t meet.
3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.
4. I have the right to change my mind.
5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
6. I have the right to follow my own values and standards.
7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or it violates my values.
8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.
9. I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behavior, actions, feelings or problems.
10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.
11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.
12. I have the right to be uniquely myself.
13. I have the right to feel scared and say “I’m afraid.”
14. I have the right to say “I don’t know.”
15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.
16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.
17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.
20. I have the right to make friends.
21. I have the right to change and grow.
22. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
23. I have the right to be happy.

Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence. Although both men and women can be abused, most victims are women. Children in homes where there is domestic violence are more likely to be abused or neglected. Even if the children are not physically harmed, they are likely to have serious emotional and behavioral problems and scars.

Abusers try to control their victim’s lives. When abusers feel a loss of control – like when the abused person leaves them – the abuse may get worse. If you are in an abusive situation, take special precautions when you leave. Develop a safety plan.

A Father’s Rights

Monday, July 20th, 2009

Courts, legislatures and juries are becoming more aware of the necessity of father’s being involved in the lives of their children. Children with positive father involvement have fewer behavior problems, higher levels of sociability, and perform better in school.

Recent research suggests that father involvement during pregnancy affects multiple areas of child and family well- being, from prenatal care initiation and mother and child health outcomes, to the likelihood that the father will provide ongoing financial and emotional support. This body of research is gaining momentum. Local and regional governmental agencies are focusing more and more on parental father involvement in the lives of children.

As a result of the changes taking place in society today, the Courts are now recognizing a father’s ability to care for his children as becoming equal to that of the mother. Starting out on an equal plane, the Court may look to which parent is more stable, has a superior income, has a parenting plan in place for the child and is capable of providing proper child care and spending more quality time with the child.

If a father ignorantly gives up rights to his children based on prejudices of the past in the Court system he can feed a mother’s confidence and sponsor unnecessary ongoing litigation. The number one mistake made by father’s in the court system today is a failure to take the time to learn how the system works. Failing to learn how the family law system works may doom your case. Once you have learned the ins and outs of the family law system you will need to form a plan, set goals and never relent in enforcing your rights as a father.

Five of the biggest mistakes men make in a legal action are: 1) failing to respond to the legal action itself; 2) obtaining incorrect legal advice (from friends and family rather than a legal expert); 3) signing a settlement agreement they are not in agreement with and later deeply regretting it; 4) failing to perform under the actual settlement agreement signed; and 5) getting frustrated and/or acquiescing to unreasonable orders.

Some of the things you may want to consider as you prepare for the custody battle are as follows:

1. Who has the financial ability to best care for the child(ren)? Be sure to have income tax verification, W-2 Forms and other financial information available.
2. Form a parenting plan (child care, after school care, transportation, pediatrician, etc.).
3. Who is more stable and/or can provide the best home for the child(ren)?
4. Where has the child(ren) been attending school? Is it possible to keep the child in the same school district?
5. Prepare a chronology of events leading up to the divorce including treatment of the child(ren), time spent with the child(ren), activities with the child(ren), the child(ren)’s schedule.
6. Consider if a home study should be prepared regarding each home of the child.
7. Consider whether a psychological evaluation should be done on the mother?
8. Is drug testing necessary? (Be sure to request hair follicle drug testing.)
9. Is there an alcohol or other addiction problem in the home?
10. Who can provide the best moral upbringing for the children?
11. Is there evidence such as pictures, video tapes, etc. that may help your case?
12. Avoid unnecessary compromising photos or data on Facebook or other social networking sites.

List any other relevant issues you feel may be important to your case before you meet with an attorney.

The most important thing to remember is that your failure, if based on dated concepts and inapplicable worn out prejudices, will be her victory and your parental failure.

Divorce: What is separate property and what is community property?

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

Under the Texas Family Code, a spouses separate property consists of 1) the property owned or claimed by the spouse before marriage; 2) the property acquired by the spouse during marriage by gift, devise, or descent, and 3) the recovery for personal injuries sustained by the spouse during marriage, except any recovery for loss of earning capacity during marriage.

The terms “owned and claimed” as used in the Texas Family Code mean that where the right to the property accrued before marriage, the property would be separate. Inception of title occurs when a party first has a right of claim to the property by virtue of which title is finally vested. The existence or nonexistence of the marriage at the time of incipiency of the right of which title finally vests determines whether property is community or separate. Inception of title occurs when a party first has a right of claim to the property.

Under Texas Constitution, Art. XVI, Section 15, separate property is defined as all property, both real and personal, of a spouse owned or claimed before marriage, and that acquired afterward by gift, devise or descent, shall be the separate property of that spouse; and laws shall be passed more clearly defining the rights of the spouses, in relation to separate and community property; provided that persons about to marry and spouses, without the intention to defraud pre-existing creditors, may by written instrument from time to time partition between themselves all or part of their property, then existing or to be acquired, or exchange between themselves the community interest of one spouse or future spouse in any property for the community interest of the other spouse or future spouse in other community property then existing or to be acquired, whereupon the portion or interest set aside to each spouse shall be and constitute a part of the separate property and estate of such spouse or future spouse; spouses may also from time to time, by written instrument, agree between themselves that the income or property from all or part of the separate property then owned or which thereafter might be acquired by only one of them, shall be the separate property of that spouse; if one spouse makes a gift of property to the other that gift is presumed to include all income or property which might arise from that gift of property; and spouses may agree in writing that all or part of the separate property owned by either or both of them shall be the spouses’ community property.

In 1917 the Legislature defined and income from separate property to be the separate property of the owner spouse. In Arnold v. Leonard, 114 Tex. 535,273 S.W. 799 (1925), the Supreme Court held that the Legislature did not have the constitutional authority to characterize the income from separate property as the owner’s separate property. The court explained that the Legislature’s authority was limited to enacting laws regulating the management and liability of marital property, not its separate or community character. This decision strengthened the constitutional principal that the Legislature may not define what is community and separate property in a manner inconsistent with Article 16, Section 15 of the Texas Constitution.

There are numerous means by which separate property may be acquired in defiance of Article 16, Section 15, a partial list includes mutations of separate property, increases in value of separate land and personality, recovery for personal injury not measured by loss of earning power, improvements of separate land with an unascertainable amount of community funds, and United States Securities purchased with community funds.

Although such property may undergo changes or mutations, as long as it is traced and properly identified it will remain separate property.

The Texas Family Code defines community property as follows: “community property consists of the property, other than separate property, acquired by either spouse during marriage.”

Texas Family Code, Section 3.003 states that all property possessed by either spouse during or at the dissolution of the marriage is presumed to be community property and that the degree of proof necessary to establish that property is separate property, rather than community property, is clear and convincing evidence. Clear and convincing evidence is defined as that measure or degree of proof that will produce in the mind of the trier of fact a firm belief or conviction as to the truth of the allegations sought to be established. If property cannot be proved to be separate property, then it is deemed to be community property.

The Texas Family Code, Section 7.002, deals with quasi-community property and requires a court divide property wherever the property is situated, if 1) the property was acquired by either spouse while domiciled in another state and the property would have been community property if the spouse who acquired the property had been domiciled in Texas at the time of acquisition; or 2) property was acquired by either spouse in exchange for real or personal property and that property would have been community property if the spouse who acquired the property so exchanged had been domiciled in Texas at the time of the acquisition.