Hey Baby Boomers: What Happened to Til Death Do Us Part?

November 13th, 2011

How often do we hear those infamous words from a long time married family or friends! “We are getting divorced!” Baby Boomers always the trendsetters are now seriously hitting the Divorce trail in growing numbers. The National Center of Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University notes that the divorce rate for people over 50 has doubled in the last 20 years and feel this is an upward trend, despite the fact that overall divorce rates have declined. In fact baby boomers now account for roughly one in four divorces today in the United States.

Why are Baby Boomers now deciding to forgo “Married Life” for unknown futures? According to a 2009 Pew Research survey, when it comes to divorce Baby Boomers are less conservative than younger generations: 66% say divorce is preferable to staying in an unhappy marriage compared with 44% of younger adults.

With many boomers the kids have often left home and these “Empty Nesters “want a material change in their lives. This group also has a net worth 47 times that of young adults so money is not necessarily a significant impediment. Communication issues are frequently mentioned in a boomer divorce and many times infidelity is the catalyst leading to a final breakdown of the marriage, creating a reason to move on to a new relationship?

Baby Boomers usually have the economic feasibility to make a divorce a reachable solution. Recently job losses and strained finances have become a major problem in some boomer marriages causing extreme stress leading to a divorce. The older Baby Boomers will impact the divorce rate which will then continue a peak and then fall sharply.

In any divorce there are always two divorces, the legal and emotional divorce, in boomer divorces financial considerations are pronounced. Aside from the loss of a spouse, a child or a parent to death, it has been said that Divorce is the most egregious, emotionally debilitating experience a man or woman may have in a lifetime. The grief to each spouse is very real, personal, and frequently irrevocable in causing emotional and financial scarring.

Concurrent with the emotional roller-coaster, a boomer couple has to determine where long term assets will end up and almost emotionally detach themselves from these assets and accept the reality of a lowered standard of living. Many boomers realize they may never marry again and there financial situation will dictate their final retirement package and needs. Often men feel they have worked a lifetime and are losing everything and many women cannot imagine life without their current assets.

Could this be why children and grandchildren of baby boomers are waiting to marry? Since 1979 the average age of Grooms has risen from 24 to 28 and from 22 to 26 for Brides. Nobody wants to inherit what turned out to be a perceived troubling trait of an older generation and many children of divorce look like they are trying to change the trend for the better.

The Innocent Bystander

October 14th, 2011

Divorce, in many cases, has a life-altering impact on a child’s development and well-being. Given that one out of every two marriages ends in divorce, thousands of children are impacted each year. Divorce places enormous stress on a child trying to adjust to new feelings and rapidly changing situations in their lives. The resulting instability often leads to resentment towards the child’s parents and a difficulty acclimating to all the abrupt and immediate changes in a child’s life.

Children perceive divorce as a very traumatic event and are very concerned about their security. Many children internalize the dissolution and blame themselves for the breakup. They are scared that both parents may leave them.

Some very disturbing research on children and divorce has just been released by the Census Bureau Study, “The Marital Events of Americans: 2009”.

*1.5% of US children live in the home of a parent who divorced in the last year. The average age of the child is 9.8 yrs. old and the male/female ration is 1:1.

*64% of the children were White, non- Hispanic children, with the largest percentage living in the South (41%).

*Children living with a divorced parent are likely to be in a household below the poverty level (28%) and more likely to be living in a rented home (53%).

*Most children live in a mother headed households (73%). Because mothers have lower earning potential in the labor force, the family often lives below the poverty level.

*These children of divorce are often living with their parents’ unmarried partner (13%). Only 5% of the children are living in a household with a married couple.

Children of divorce often suffer from anxiety, depression and reduced self-esteem issues. Robert Hughes, associate professor in the Dept. of Human Development and Family Science, Ohio State University, found that children from divorce are more aggressive and more likely to get in to trouble with school authorities or police during adolescence. Also children from divorce are more vulnerable to becoming a victim of violence or become a perpetrator of violent acts on themselves and or others.

If you are considering divorce, carefully consider the impact on your children. To help children through this difficult time, parents must realize and accept that they are responsible for this situation and that their children often suffer as a result of the parent’s decision.

Parents should be very sensitive to the child’s emotional needs to ensure the best possible adjustment of his or her mental, physical, spiritual well-being towards a healthy, responsible adult. Remember! Your child is the “Innocent Bystander.”

Seek professional help if you child is struggling with the changes in his or her life. Your attorney knows a resource that may be available to address your child’s pressing needs.

Texas Expands Alimony

July 5th, 2011

Spousal support law continues to evolve in Texas; but like the hot, dry summer days which seem to creep along, the process moves slowly.

Governor Rick Perry signed HB 901 on June 17, 2011. The law is effective for divorce cases filed on or after September 1, 2011. In 1995, Texas was the 50th state to pass a law providing for spousal support and has been one of the most restrictive in the nation.

The new law provides potentially increased relief to spouses who have been out of the work force, are disabled, are victims of family violence or are the primary custodians of a disabled child.

Major changes to the spousal support law are:

1. The maximum amount of spousal support that courts may award increases from $2,500 to $5,000.00 per month, although still limited to 20 percent of the payer’s average gross monthly income.

2. The duration of spousal support is extended from a maximum of 3 years to a maximum of 5, 7 or 10 years, generally depending on the length of the marriage.

3. The law clarifies that if a person has primary care for a disabled child, the custodial parent may be prevented because of the child’s disability from earning sufficient income to meet the custodial parent’s minimum reasonable needs.

4. The law also clarifies that a person may not be held in contempt for failing to pay spousal support which is in an agreed order and extends beyond the period of time provided under the law.

In order to receive “maintenance,” (which is the statutory term for spousal support), the spouse seeking support must lack sufficient property to provide for the spouse’s “minimum reasonable needs”, AND one of the following:

(1) The recipient must be unable to earn sufficient income to provide for his or her minimum reasonable needs because of an incapacitating mental or physical disability;

(2) The marriage lasted for 10 years or longer and the recipient lacks the ability to earn sufficient income to provide for his or her minimum reasonable needs;

(3) The recipient is the custodian of a child of the marriage of any age who required substantial care and personal supervision because of a physical or mental disability that prevents the spouse from earning sufficient income to provide for the spouse’s minimum reasonable needs; OR

(4) The person ordered to pay support must have been convicted of or received deferred jurisdiction for an act of family violence during the pendency of the suit or within two years of the date the suit is filed.

Under the previous law, under most circumstances, the court could only order maintenance for a maximum of three years, regardless of the length of the marriage. Under the new law, the court can order maintenance to continue for:

(1) 5 years if the parties were married less than 10 years and the maintenance is awarded due to family violence;

(2) 5 years if the parties were married more than 10 years, but less than 20 years.

(3) 7 years if the parties were married more than 20 years, but less than 30 years;

(4) 10 years if the parties were married for more than 30 years.

In cases where the maintenance is awarded due to the mental or physical disability of the spouse or a child of the marriage, the court may order that the maintenance continue as long as the disability continues.

However, in all circumstances, the law provides that the Court shall order maintenance for the shortest reasonable period that allows the recipient to earn sufficient income to meet his or her reasonable needs.

If you are contemplating dissolving your marriage and have questions concerning your financial future, seek competent legal counsel to help you determine whether you could be eligible for spousal support under the expanded provisions of the new law.

Serving clients throughout Texas, including Collin, Dallas, Denton, Ellis, Grayson, Kaufman, Rockwall and Tarrant counties and the communities of Addison, Allen, Arlington, Carrollton, Dallas, Fort Worth, Frisco, Garland, Grapevine, Highland Park, McKinney, Mesquite, Plano, Richardson, Rowlett and University Park, Murphy,Wylie, Lewisville, Flower Mound, Irving, along with surrounding DFW areas.