November 13th, 2011
How often do we hear those infamous words from a long time married family or friends! “We are getting divorced!” Baby Boomers always the trendsetters are now seriously hitting the Divorce trail in growing numbers. The National Center of Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University notes that the divorce rate for people over 50 has doubled in the last 20 years and feel this is an upward trend, despite the fact that overall divorce rates have declined. In fact baby boomers now account for roughly one in four divorces today in the United States.
Why are Baby Boomers now deciding to forgo “Married Life” for unknown futures? According to a 2009 Pew Research survey, when it comes to divorce Baby Boomers are less conservative than younger generations: 66% say divorce is preferable to staying in an unhappy marriage compared with 44% of younger adults.
With many boomers the kids have often left home and these “Empty Nesters “want a material change in their lives. This group also has a net worth 47 times that of young adults so money is not necessarily a significant impediment. Communication issues are frequently mentioned in a boomer divorce and many times infidelity is the catalyst leading to a final breakdown of the marriage, creating a reason to move on to a new relationship?
Baby Boomers usually have the economic feasibility to make a divorce a reachable solution. Recently job losses and strained finances have become a major problem in some boomer marriages causing extreme stress leading to a divorce. The older Baby Boomers will impact the divorce rate which will then continue a peak and then fall sharply.
In any divorce there are always two divorces, the legal and emotional divorce, in boomer divorces financial considerations are pronounced. Aside from the loss of a spouse, a child or a parent to death, it has been said that Divorce is the most egregious, emotionally debilitating experience a man or woman may have in a lifetime. The grief to each spouse is very real, personal, and frequently irrevocable in causing emotional and financial scarring.
Concurrent with the emotional roller-coaster, a boomer couple has to determine where long term assets will end up and almost emotionally detach themselves from these assets and accept the reality of a lowered standard of living. Many boomers realize they may never marry again and there financial situation will dictate their final retirement package and needs. Often men feel they have worked a lifetime and are losing everything and many women cannot imagine life without their current assets.
Could this be why children and grandchildren of baby boomers are waiting to marry? Since 1979 the average age of Grooms has risen from 24 to 28 and from 22 to 26 for Brides. Nobody wants to inherit what turned out to be a perceived troubling trait of an older generation and many children of divorce look like they are trying to change the trend for the better.
Tags: baby boomers, baby boomers divorce, boomer divorce, boomer divorce rate, dallas divorce, dallas divorce attorney, divorce attorney, divorce rate, empty nest syndrome, empty nesters, National Center of Family and Marriage Research
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August 1st, 2010
With high profilers, Al and Tipper Gore announcing they are separating after 40 years of marriage, many Baby Boomers (USA born between 1946-1964) may be wondering who is left in the ”Happily Ever After” group!
Today’s Baby Boomers are more educated than any previous American Generation and their divorce rate is triple that of their parent’s generation. Break ups among long term married couples are becoming more frequent with longer life spans and the growing regrettable acceptability of divorce. In 2008, ¼ of all divorces reported were marriages of over 20 years with divorces of couples 55 or older rising moderately. A longer life span means the possibility of a new relationship, and opportunities for repartnering after age 55 are greater than they used to be.
The top three reasons for long term marriage dissolutions are Abuse, Infidelity, and Money Control Issues. Another rising issue is couples who have been married for decades. Baby Boomers start taking their marriages for granted and are focusing on different issues until it is too late to seek a reconnect with their estranged spouses. These break ups are referred as “Cold Divorces” characterized by isolation, distance and disengagement and are usually a product of a gradual buildup. Empty Nester divorces are also on the rise, since the spouses no longer have their children to hold the marriage together. An AARP survey of older divorced couples found that two-thirds (2/3) of the divorces were initiated by the woman, frequently to the surprise of the man.
A recent poll was conducted by the National Association of Divorce for Women & Children and the Baby Boomer on divorce. The results were really startling! 41% of all participants said that dealing with finances, debt and security were the most challenging parts of finalizing a divorce. Asset division was second at 19%, and Custody of the Children was third at 13%.
Depicting divorce as an unsettling emotional roller coaster ride, 41% of the participants reported coping skills would have been helpful to cope with the divorce process, 28% reported Stress Management, and failure of Communication Skills was a close third at 26%.
Finally, 55% of the participants reported having an amicable relationship with their former spouse. 15% could not be in the same room with their former spouse and only 4% reported they had learned to tolerate the other for the sake of their children! Many expressed sadness, shame and embarrassment for having to divorce.
Some warning signs to look out for in a Boomer Divorce are:
- Spouses who argue at least once a week about money are 30% more likely to get divorced
- If your parents are divorced, you are 40% more likely to get divorced
- If both of you have been previously divorced, you are 90% more likely to seek divorce than those of a first marriage.
The US Census estimates about half of all marriages end in divorce! As you grow older people change, but to preserve a marriage, the spouses need to continue working on their Marriage to Keep it Intact!
Tags: AARP survey, assett division, baby boomer, baby boomers, baby boomers divorce, boomer divorce, boomers divorce, cold divorces, dallas divorce attorney, divorce attorney, empty nester divorce, National Association of Divorce for Women & Children
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